One important thing I learned since taking up a daily Buddhist practiced was that I knew so little about who I am and about my relation to the world we inhabit. It wasn’t a journey without its pain and disappointment to discover that I wasn’t really that ‘special’. Even, as a human being, I did on many levels seek to stand out from the crowd. I also found out that I cannot find true happiness in external things and I should seek it inside.
I was never truly happy and was no stranger to physical pain either. However, the moments that caused me the greatest pain weren’t not only the ones when I felt physical pain. Rather, I felt more pain when people defined me as a ‘sufferer’ and not even bother to get to know me as a whole person. And while physical pain can become unbearable, we often try to distance ourselves from people who remind us of own helplessness and mortality. A reality that we must all face..
We may insist that physical suffering is always wrong but, on the other hand, we cannot deny that suffering can have a value. When my medical condition worsened or when my impairments regressed, I spent precious time wasted away in self-pity and anger. I wanted things to return to how they were before. Yet, I was actually hanging on to an unrealistic aspiration and had, for a time, attached myself to an unchanging self-image.
Even if Buddha’s first Noble Truth is often mistranslated to ‘life is suffering’ from the Pali word “Dukkha”, the closest translation of "dukkha"is actually “dissatisfaction”. While physical pain can be cause for suffering, Buddha was referring to the pain caused by our delusion that our lives are permanent and the things we possess have permanent natures. My understanding of dukkha is that arises out of of our attachment or clinging to a state that doesn’t have an objective reality.
Unfortunately, while we may take refuge in dukkha, there will always be occasions when we realise the folly of the belief in permanence. For if we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that our very human being cannot be separated from the awareness of our mortality. An awareness of death can also explain why we strive to leave a mark on the memories of our loved ones and the world after our inevitable death. We may find that we are striving to leave a part of who we are on those we leave behind. We may seek meaning for our impermanence in death. We may seek to leave a mark on the world through art and science. We may seek comfort in religion or philosophy. Yet, we hate to admit that, like little children, we are scared of dying.
We have so much that we lose. Worse of all, who who would we be if I lost who we are. The thing is that we do not know. We may pretend to have faith in the after-life or hold a particular religion to guide us, we are still unsure about what will happen after death. Even if it’s inevitable, death is a frightening prospect. There is still a hope that life will, somehow, go on. Even if we may not believe in an after-life, we don’t take our life for granted. We may even grip to the present life because we believe that this is, in fact, where life is. There will be none after and there was none before. Yet, we forget that who are we are is a result of a process that wouldn’t be possible without others, without society and without a community. Indeed, we are deluded by the myth that we can ever truly be independent.
Not even if we are deserted on an island, can we claim to be truly independent from food that sustains us and water that quenches our thirst. Denying that would be denying our humanity. And, even if it’s not a popular view,, we remain vulnerable and fragile just another human beings and - as another animal. Sadly, interpretations of religion has resulted in an anthropocentric view of the world and a denial of the importance of the body and its rejection. On the other hand, science can reduce the body to an object of research and human beings that are basically bunch a of cells. Yet, both fail to meet at a middle point.
However, it would be foolish to define who we are solely in terms of the body or In terms of a spirit or consciousness. For both are co-dependent on each other. Our self can be an illusion but we need to go beyond it and be ready to admit that even if we cannot objectively observe it, it has a kind of existence. One that is impermanent, one which arises out of society and human understanding (dependent arising) and co-exists with other beings )co-dependence). Lastly and the most important aspect of life we often forget is it’s the impermanent nature. And here we come to a point where we tread into uncertainty.
For example, I hesitate to hold an extreme position on the matter of the existence of God, an after-life and so on. This is because any statement that I might make, as an extreme position, will be false. For like those who declared war on the body or indulge in it as solely the source of pleasure, every step they take it seems they missing the point of life by stressing one quality while failing to recognise that extremes of human being are all biased interpretations of reality.
Thus, we have a capitalist system that focuses on individual freedom and a communism that puts common interests before individual rights. They appear not to agree on many levels and posit their politics in positive terms and holding their politics as the best one. Yet, they represent two extremes that are still a source of great alienation and poverty. I would be pretentious , to propose an alternative system. However, what I’m sure of that neither a system entirely based on individual rights or social responsibility can truly sustain itself. For such politics denies our humanity. We are never truly individuals but can only express our individuality in a social context. We cannot even place everyone in the same place for we all remain different in many ways. We cannot be treated in the same way but we can be treated equally. And there’s a big difference between the two approaches.
In this sense, the Buddha realised there was no lasting value in his life as a prince shielded from human pain and suffering and free to indulge in all the pleasures money could buy. Neither his was pursuit of self-mortification help him to find meaning and happiness in his life. Indeed, such a radical lifestyle was close to kill him. The teaching of the middle path is not just about moderation but in recognising that our life emerges out of our relation with others and who we are cannot be separated from our material reality.
Once the young Buddha was observing a chord player who would inspire him to develop the idea of the middle way, he told him:
“If you tighten the chords too much, it won’t play…
If they’re too loose, They won’t play,
Seek the middle way - not too tight, not too loose!“
Of course, I may be paraphrasing here but this teaching represents the essence of the teaching that, later Buddha would use to explain how we should live our life in order to life happy.
Indeed, the middle way goes beyond a simple teaching on moderation, Rather it’s an acknowledgement that with all our failings and
dependence, they are what makes us humans and even if Western society tends to be ashamed of admitting to its vulnerability, it represents a human truth that we all share. In this sense, while it’s ok to live healthy and comfortable, we are all affected by a desire to remain impermanent as long as we feel satisfied with life. If not, we seek external sources for our happiness.
Sadly, we don’t find happiness in considering the practice of balance as that found in the middle way. Instead, we close our hearts and minds to a restricted world view when we judge other people in terms of what we think they are. Without recognising that, in spite of all, at the core, we have to go through life till death without having a choice on whether we live or die.
The middle way isn’t the way by which we escape from taking responsibility for our actions or take up a convenient passivity. Rather, it’s a commitment to strive for the betterment of our world, a commitment to valuing life and other human beings. It’s a conscious attempt to genuinely reach out to others and to encourage a relationship based on mutual respect and authentic compassion.
It’s not about converting people or imposing one’s own beliefs on others arguing that we are right. It’s about helping irrespective of who you’re helping. It’s about giving without expecting to gain.
Ultimately, it’s about valuing the experience of life with a full awareness that, whether there is a life after death, you will die no matter what.
Even if this reads negative and a bleak view of life, it need not be. In fact, it should encourage us to appreciate what we have, and, yes, strive to improve our life and the lives of others and remove unnecessary suffering when ever we can.
For even if we can’t stop the process of life, we can affect our life and our happiness if we approach life with balance, moderation and mutual love and respect. If we only approached the world with compassion beyond judgment. You may judge me as an idealist. Yet, I’d rather live a life that seeks to pursue the path of service because, in spite of the criticism and judgment we may throw out there, we are the ones who can influence ourselves and seek help when we need it. For, this isn’t a sign of personal failure but a recognition of our basic need to sustain our whole being. For it would be arrogant of us to pretend that we can make it in life without needing the world and other human beings.
The teachings of dukkha and the middle way reveal to us that while the world and other livings are essential in our human existence, we should never become attached to them to a point that we limit ourselves to what we consider safe. We all know we are going to die. All this will end.
It may be more important if we concentrate on making the best of life and expressing compassion and happiness as we celebrate diversity.
Life is not meant to be forever...
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