Meditations on Mother's Day

First, let me share a haiku I composed to mark this year's Mother's Day:

To All Mothers*

1
Mothers of all time,
Now, you made us who we are.
You've given us life.

2
Mothers without child.
You've given birth to new hope.
You've given us life.

3
Mothers, you're human.
You may fall and rise, but then,
You've given us life.

4
If it hadn't been you,
We would not be here. No one.
For that, we love you...

5
Divided we are.
We forget that we all had…
We all had mothers!

And, now, some  meditations...

On May 12, we celebrate Mother's day in our country. However,as I realised as I grew older, other countries may celebrate Mother's day on a different day. In spite of this, every nation and culture appears to hold a special place for mothers.

The fact is that, whatever our differences, we all have or had a mother in our life. If it weren't so, we wouldn't be here. Unfortunately, we often take our mothers for granted and fail to appreciate the precious gift our mother has given us. The unique opportunity to live. On the other hand, it's dangerous to idealise mothers and motherhood for the simple reason that mothers remain human.

I am thankful that my mother is still alive. But, I cannot forget those sons and daughters who have been rejected by their mothers or given away without understanding why. Children whose mothers died during childbirth. Children who lost their mothers during their infancy or childhood. And those mothers who, due to personal issues, had to give up their child for adoption. The

mothers who became mothers because they didn't receive the proper education. Mothers who have become mothers out of violent relationships or through rape, where the child becomes a constant reminder of the rapist and violator of her body. Then there are mothers who reject their unborn child for their own reasons. There are many mothers who don't have children but care for other people and children as if they were a mother. In a way, aren't these mothers to?

There's no one relationship that exists between mother and child. We might prefer the idea of a good mother as one who nurtures her children and construct a 'perfection of motherhood'. However, in the real world, such motherly perfection doesn't exist and is impossible to achieve. Yet, what all mothers have in common is that they are the only ones who can have children. They are the life givers and, in their hands, they hold the future of all of humanity.

True, as men, we have a part to play in bringing other human beings, but women are the only ones capable to bring forth new life into the world. Indeed, we call our Earth, mother Earth and not Father Earth.. Indeed, many species of the Earth are born of women, who become mothers. In a way, the fact that women are the only ones who have the potential to become mothers,, makes you wonder why, where there's mention of God, God always referred to inn terms of 'he' not 'she'.

This may be due much more to the way civilisation has evolved from one worships the Goddess to one that venerates God but I won't go into that today. However, the reality remains that every single aspect of human civilisation would have been impossible if there weren't mothers. Indeed, without mothers, there would have been no humanity to begin with.

Of course, various religions and cultures have their particular takes on motherhood. However, all great leaders, scientists, artists, musicians, writers and religious figures and, indeed, all of us, had or have a mother. Indeed, in spite of any differences we might have as human beings, we all share a common experience of being born because we had a mother.

Even if we are invited to think of our mothers if we're lucky to have had one we can remember, it is important that we appreciate the gift that is life we have been given.

And even if our mothers have somewhat failed us or even harmed us in the past, they gave us this life which no one else could give us and which no one can give us in our life.

* For more haikus like this, kindly visit my haiku blog at: Haiku Flow. Hope you enjoy!

A Reflection on Motherhood

Insome parts of the world, May is a month when motherhood is celebrated. This is the case in Malta (my country). Perhaps it’s obvious to state that everyone is here alive because he or she had a mother to conceive him/her.. I have thought a bit about the significance of this fact and as I meditated over the meaning of motherhood, I realised how much I had taken for granted and how really little did I appreciate having a mother in the first place. I also realised that, in spite of the many ways we separate ourselves from each other, we all have or had a mother in our lives.

When I thought about what the meaning of motherhood was to me, I realised that I can never truly understand what this actually is like. True, every mother experiences motherhood in her own way. However, as I’m a man, I can only go so far in my understanding of that experience. In addition, as a man, I can never aspire to be a mother. In fact, a prerequisite of being a mother is that you’re also a women. When I think about it, I find that it’s rather odd that in monotheistic religions, God is usually given masculine characteristics. Yet, I wonder whether this was the logical choice. And, if you look at ancient religions, we discover the cult of the Mother goddess. After all, aren’t we born out of mothers? Mothers, who are without exception, also women? Shouldn’t it then follow that God is primarily a woman as He is one who gives life and loves unconditionally?

I will not go into that debate today. It’s just that I feel rather embarrassed when I think how many men before me and to come assume that being a man entitles them to a certain superiority. When, I have come to realise that men and women should be equal and while physiologically we’re different, one sex isn’t superior to another but complementary to each other. Indeed, we come to the world because there was once a man and a woman who willingly or unwillingly united together on an intimate level..


Why did I include “unwilling” unions in the sentence before? This is because not all of us are the fruits of a loving relationship and may be the fruits of rape. Others may be abandoned by their mothers soon after they are born. And, sadly, some are even killed before they are even born. Aren’t these children of less value than others? I feel that we tend to think of mothers in an idealised way and forgetting that they are human beings who commit mistakes as well. Indeed, it takes a lot of sacrifice to become a mother and take care of your children. I don’t say this to diminish the status of mothers but, as I reflect on my own perceptions of mothers, I have a tendency to forget that not everyone might have a positive experience of their mother - if at all. And the mothers and the children living in difficult situations are often labelled or judged before they have a chance to know who they are. This is regretful but it happens. We risk closing our minds to an idea of motherhood that doesn't reflect the reality. In so doing, we invariably diminish the value of others who fall short of fitting in with our biased views on what motherhood means. Here, I have to thank my mother for giving me life but the many women in my life who provided me with guidance and understanding. Women who, in spite of being biologically unrelated helped me throughout my love with love and compassion without expecting anything in return. These too, in one way or another, were like mothers to me.

on Mother’s Day”. Indeed, you don’t have to be a mother in the biological sense to be a mother. Indeed, “motherhood” goes beyond biology but can also mean to be there for someone. To take care of the needs of another person when they’re young or vulnerable. It is to be there for someone else and love another unconditionally. Inn fact,, there were many women in my life who have also been like mothers to me. And, even if we might think of mothers in a limited way, these women had also an important role to play in our lives.

But, my mother remains the person who brought me to the world. She's the one who was here in my early childhood. Unfortunately, as I grew up and sought more autonomy, my relationship somehow started weakening. It's a phase we all go through as adolescents I guess. And, even

today, we may forget that if it wasn't for our mothers, we wouldn't be here. And even if we may not know who our mother is or were rejected by our mothers at some point in our life, we can appreciate that another human being brought us to the world. It's too easy to judge mothers who reject their children. But, even if it's not something pleasant, our mothers may thought this was best for us. I know I lack experience but, I feel, that some actions that may be misguided are too quickly judged as irresponsible or downright wrong.

As I end this post, I admit that I need to work on my relationship with my mother. I have taken her for granted. And, it's important to keep my heart open. For, it may be difficult, but it's necessary.

For today, she may be here. But, tomorrow, who knows? Indeed, only today can I really express my appreciation for giving me life and for being here for me.

Tomorrow may be too late.