What am I? The Second Question of Belonging.

Follows from Who am I?

 

 

I continue to reflect on the meaning of who I am as a human being today. In this entry, which started as a series of three questions on authentic being, I will try to put forward a few points for reflection. In particular, to answers to the question about what we are.

Even if there may be no real distinction between who we are and what we are, I feel that this question relates more to our sense of identity in the social and human context in which we live.

Today, I find that a common answer that is provided when asked about who we are is related either to our work or position within our family and other organisations. In this sense, what we are is sometimes understood by what we do. Indeed, many choose to define themselves by what they do in their daily life. Thus, many who find themselves without work for various reasons become, in a sense, ‘nothing’ or, at best, those ‘others’ in society that we talk about and not whom we talk with. They remain hidden in misconceptions and a kind of mystery. They are like ghosts who don’t belong neither the land of the living or the realm of the dead.

 

But, in truth, aren’t we all living ghosts? Robbed of our names, our religion, our politics, our philosophy, our social groups, and so on and so forth, what remains of us?

 

Assuming that we are born in society and grow among other human beings, we develop a sense of belonging. We are given a name that identifies us as an individual, we are born in a family or a community that endows us with a culture and heritage, we acquire a language or many languages which directs how we will express who we are. We may acquire religion or a philosophy about how the world works and about the meaning of life. This list goes on.

 

Yet, while there’s nothing wrong with the need to belong, it’s dangerous if our sense of belonging becomes more of an attachment and a vehicle to discriminate, denigrate and humiliate those outside our group. I feel that, even in my life, I felt an outsider and never really fitted in either the ‘normal’ society or the ‘special’ society of persons with impairments. Indeed, I was a disabled person who lived most of his early life with non-disabled people. Yet, I never felt I belonged anywhere in particular.

 

Now, I perhaps, know the reason. A reason that relates to answering the question of belonging - not just in my case but for everyone. And, the answer is really simple. We can proclaim we belong to a group and even express our pride in this. Such a thing is not wrong but it risks creating between us differences not based on facts or reality but rather on thoughts and misguided ideas. It can close our hearts to the commonality of the human experience with all its beauty and suffering. It also shuts our minds to ways to make things better for all of us and not for one particular group or not.

 

Then, what are we? We may rightly define ourselves in terms of our tradition, beliefs and ideas. Yet, the fact remains is that what we are cannot be bound to a set of thoughts or words. Indeed, what we are is human beings who have the potential to transcend our differences and even adapt ourselves to new situations and realities. Yet, the fact remains that we are dependent on others in this world. We cannot belong to ourselves for who we are is a product of our heritage of evolution and of human society. In this sense, we belong to humankind before anything else.

 

 Continues and ends with the last question Why am I?