Is there life after FaceBook?

L)) Listen to a recent episode with the same name I published oN my podcast channel at AudioBoo

FaceBook Memories

Last week, I took what seemed, at first, to be a difficult decision. I de-activated my FaceBook account. Even if I can re-activate my account within a time window, it’s unlikely for me to return. I admit that I was pretty excited when I started using FaceBook for the first time. It felt good to see more ‘friends’ and acquaintances joining me as a ‘friend’. Indeed, over the years, I did gain a modest number of followers, including new and old friends, schoolmates, relatives and had the chance to connect with like minded people.

Disenchantment

On the other hand, I have grown weary about what FaceBook has become. While I find that the idea of social networks and FaceBook in particular, to be a positive one, I regret that, on its part, FaceBook has sold its soul (if social networks can have one) to businesses and companies. Unfortunately, as a FaceBook user, I noticed that many of those using what is now a social network giant don’t yet understand the implications of posting stuff on the platform.

In fact, people have been posting updates about the most trivial things happing in their lives, posting photos that may be inappropriate or sharing ‘feel good’ updates or ‘feel bad’ updates to gain attention. We also sometimes tend to post status updates to provoke controversy. All in all, we seek to create an identity and seek to be popular - even if it means portraying ourselves as tragic victims. Worse still, we fill our profiles with details about who we are or what we do to the whole world to find. Things that we might not be comfortable sharing with a person we met in the street, we are ready to tell the world.

A Privacy Lost

Many people have rightly expressed their concerns following Edward Snowden's revelations that the US government Is monitoring the activities of its citizens, and most likely, other citizens from other countries to protect “national security”. But, forgetting this issue for today, these concerns arise because we value our privacy. After all, we want to keep aspects of our lives to ourselves. However, our insistence on the ‘sacred’ right to privacy seems to be inconsistent with how we behave on FaceBookFaceBook activity is also precious information for businesses to use and exploit for their own business interests. A thing that we make easier for those seeking to make more profit whenever we press LIKE on a particular product and service. While this can help the company improve their service, it is also somewhat an invasion of our privacy, It night even mean that we are valuing products as people. For, in truth, the FaceBook started off as a network of friends, it has been colonised by an aggressive commercialisation where objects become our friends and friends, in a way, become objects.

Sadly, I realise that FaceBook is neither the utopian social network which connects people from around the world to encourage dialogue and mutual understanding. Yes, there are some groups and individuals who are engaging in a dialogue to promote peace and justice around the world. Yet, as with anything we create as human beings, FaceBook has been the meeting place for those who spread hate or intolerance to others, including far right groups and those groups which implicitly support homophobia, people of different race, faith or disability. This tendency for us to form our own affiliations even if they condone hate crime or violence, is a reality. And if a group is private, FaceBook can be a place where we limit ourselves to reading from people who have our opinions without even giving the chance for us to hear a different opinion than our own.

Again, I am not condemning FaceBook or those who use it. For all I know, I might return. However, I believe that I have become too dependent on FaceBook to the extent that I wasn’t sure whether I could live without it. A feeling I am sure some readers can relate to. I haven’t become addicted to FaceBook. But, then again, I had a life before FaceBook. We all had. In a way, FaceBook. I thank all of you who joined me on FaceBook is not going to be there forever. And it could continue to change too much.

I left FaceBook tO regain my authenticity and grow in self-knowledge without having to adopt an identity that is NOT who I am!


PS: I will still be on Twitter though - so you can still connect with me @GordonGT!

What am I? The Second Question of Belonging.

Follows from Who am I?

 

 

I continue to reflect on the meaning of who I am as a human being today. In this entry, which started as a series of three questions on authentic being, I will try to put forward a few points for reflection. In particular, to answers to the question about what we are.

Even if there may be no real distinction between who we are and what we are, I feel that this question relates more to our sense of identity in the social and human context in which we live.

Today, I find that a common answer that is provided when asked about who we are is related either to our work or position within our family and other organisations. In this sense, what we are is sometimes understood by what we do. Indeed, many choose to define themselves by what they do in their daily life. Thus, many who find themselves without work for various reasons become, in a sense, ‘nothing’ or, at best, those ‘others’ in society that we talk about and not whom we talk with. They remain hidden in misconceptions and a kind of mystery. They are like ghosts who don’t belong neither the land of the living or the realm of the dead.

 

But, in truth, aren’t we all living ghosts? Robbed of our names, our religion, our politics, our philosophy, our social groups, and so on and so forth, what remains of us?

 

Assuming that we are born in society and grow among other human beings, we develop a sense of belonging. We are given a name that identifies us as an individual, we are born in a family or a community that endows us with a culture and heritage, we acquire a language or many languages which directs how we will express who we are. We may acquire religion or a philosophy about how the world works and about the meaning of life. This list goes on.

 

Yet, while there’s nothing wrong with the need to belong, it’s dangerous if our sense of belonging becomes more of an attachment and a vehicle to discriminate, denigrate and humiliate those outside our group. I feel that, even in my life, I felt an outsider and never really fitted in either the ‘normal’ society or the ‘special’ society of persons with impairments. Indeed, I was a disabled person who lived most of his early life with non-disabled people. Yet, I never felt I belonged anywhere in particular.

 

Now, I perhaps, know the reason. A reason that relates to answering the question of belonging - not just in my case but for everyone. And, the answer is really simple. We can proclaim we belong to a group and even express our pride in this. Such a thing is not wrong but it risks creating between us differences not based on facts or reality but rather on thoughts and misguided ideas. It can close our hearts to the commonality of the human experience with all its beauty and suffering. It also shuts our minds to ways to make things better for all of us and not for one particular group or not.

 

Then, what are we? We may rightly define ourselves in terms of our tradition, beliefs and ideas. Yet, the fact remains is that what we are cannot be bound to a set of thoughts or words. Indeed, what we are is human beings who have the potential to transcend our differences and even adapt ourselves to new situations and realities. Yet, the fact remains that we are dependent on others in this world. We cannot belong to ourselves for who we are is a product of our heritage of evolution and of human society. In this sense, we belong to humankind before anything else.

 

 Continues and ends with the last question Why am I?

Death in Denial

We're exposed to sights and sounds of death and dying people on a daily basis - day and night. Our media doesn't miss the daily ritual of reporting on a homicide, war, natural disasters, famine, and other news where other human beings are experiencing suffering eat the hands of others motivated by a myriad of intentions, ranging from revenge to sheer hate. On occasion, our news networks may throw in a suicide bombing for good measure.

But, I wonder, is this make us more empathic to the plight of our fellow human brothers and sisters? Do we, as we  witness from afar the daily tragedy of human lives  wasted away, grow in compassion and  bother to take the time to reflect on the essential vulnerability inherent in the human condition? Do we feel in any way connected with these people who are suffering injustice or misfortune? Or do we rather hold to an idea that we're not like them - that they are the "other"… that they are less fortunate… that, indeed, we're not like them… we're better… more civilized? These are some of the questions I'm becoming  more aware of the fact that, we can't go on living as if what is not happening in our country doesn't concern us.

Even if we're informed about the realities of human tragedy every day, I suspect that as we follow  these events unfold, we do our best to escape the reality of suffering and death. Instead, we take every means possible to hide away from being reminded of the realities that underpin our human existence. We take refuge in temporary joys and pleasure, we indulge in food and entertainment and we lose our time in seeking more wealth, success and money. We seek a happiness that , try as we may, we cannot at fain.

We fear acknowledging that we are dependent on others. We keep away from hospitals and such institutions where those who are excluded kept. We fear to recognize that we will change and so, we prefer to deny or even resist the aging process. We house large numbers of our elderly relatives into old people homes. We fear death and often forget those who are dying in our hospitals. Out of sight, out of mind.

The reality is that yes, we depend on each other. That is no reason to feel inferior but rather feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Yes, we will grow old and change but then, it's also true that sadness will be followed by joy, darkness by light. Indeed, once again you can't really  appreciate joy without having experienced sadness. 

Finally, we all will die - whatever we do. But,\ that means that we shouldn't take for granted the day we've been given. An opportunity to experience the wonder of life itself. The chance to meet new people, enjoy our friends and loved ones. We've got a unique privilege to cherish the miracle of nature and the universe. 

Indeed, every day is borrowed time where we can reach out to others and offer our love and compassion. I now believe that  is the only path to achieve authentic peace and happiness.

The Gifts of Boredom

Since I started this blog, I can’t help asking myself whether it was a good idea after all. Indeed, who I am to ponder the questions that have troubled human beings since the beginning of human time? And when I speak of religion and spirituality, am I really mature enough to know what they really mean? And besides, who is really interested in considering the profound questions posed by consciousness and awareness that “knows that it knows”? Yes, part of me is also curious about how many people on the net are actually reading what I am trying to express here.

Since the start of this year, I had to spend a considerable amount of time in bed due to a medical issue. While, thanks to technology, I could still keep in touch with my friends and what was happening in the world, the fact that I had to spend many days away from work and life in general meant that I was frustrated. To make things worse, a back problem rendered me even more helpless than I ever was. It can be a boring life, I admit, and considering my previous life as a disabled activist and researcher which was quite a fulfilling one, this new life seemed empty and pointless. Where was my life going?

It’s surprising how when we are faced with considerable time on our own without much to do, we start noticing things about who we are that we may miss during our busy lives. We have the time to revisit past memories and even dwell on things we wish to do but cannot do. We even resolve to change how we live our life as if it was the new year. And I couldn’t help reflecting on my own fragility after being rendered helpless due to a toe infection and back pain! I also thought about the time in my late teens when I was close to death. Then it was far worse, I admit. Yet, my concerns about my purpose in life and, by extension, the nature of death; returned to haunt me.

This thirst for answers and hunger for purpose reawakened a part of me that I had forgotten or buried deep in my unconscious. A sort of emotion, feeling, state - I can’t find the right word. But I think that it could be best described as my spirituality. While I have already talked about the pitfalls of religion, this is the place I would look for answers. After all, religion is not the problem itself but rather it is how people manipulate religion to suit their ends that is the problem. 

However, before threading any further into my spiritual journey, I owe it to you to provide some background information about my relation to religion and spirituality because it is central to understand how my present outlook developed over the last months.