The Virtues of Pain

It’s now more than a week since persistent back pain caused by an injury has forced me to consume pain medication which adds up to the daily dose f steroids I need in order to keep my general condition under control. These days were also more difficult following a number of disappointments I had in my life. Indeed, only now can I seem to have renewed hope in a better tomorrow. A tomorrow when I can return back to work and join my work mates once again.

Even if I wish to escape the pain, I must admit that, whatever we do,. certain type of pain is inevitable and may be even necessary.

Here I am not saying that I just accept the pain that's purely physical without making use of medication to relief the immediate pain. Indeed, one should make proper use of technological innovation to address the symptoms of pain. But, then again, we should accept the fact that not all pain is valueless and that pain itself can help us connect to others and to our basic humanity.

Such an approach to pain appears to be a contradiction to the pleasure seeking or hedonistic ideal that equates pain and suffering with evil while pleasure and physical comfort are the higher goods of our current age.


While it’s a natural response to reject pain, not all pain can be removed. I have experienced moments of pain where I even questioned if there was any point in going on. These moments often led me to consider even suicide. But these thoughts eventually would last for days or even months until I would realize that, instead of brooding on my bad fortune, I could learn from this experience. It’s not easy as it might appear when expressed in words and I don’t judge those who failed and and are no longer with us.

However, I can’t help worry about the implication of a hedonism that aims to reject pain because it often leads to the elimination of those people whose lives, due to their pain, are deemed unworthy of living as their lives are perceived as insignificant burdens and ‘lies not worth living’. A life such as my own. In addition, a pleasure seeking attitude to life may result in a decrease in palliative care treatment and lack of funding in pain management research. It would mean removing the person instead of alleviating the pain.

There were many things I reflected upon during these times of pain. Things that I had forgotten as I went about with life until I was forced to stop. I realized how, in spite of any disagreements, my family was there to support me.

I realized that my friends hadn’t abandoned me in this moment of need. I realiszed that if it wasn’t for the work of many others unknown to me, I would’t have anything to brink or eat, no electricity, no means of reaching out to the world. If it hadn’t been for those who encouraged me to ask the right questions, my life today would have been different. Finally, if it hadn’t been for doctors and scientists that have developed treatment and medication to deal with conditions like my own, I would not be here today.

In this sense, pain reminds us of our own vulnerability as human beings and awakens us to the fact that we need each other in life and that we are part of one single human family.

Lessons in Humility

The last week has been quite hard on me as my back pain has returned which makes getting around more painful and difficult. Yes, my back pain is back! I can’t deny that I find it hard to do the things I could do a week ago but I’ve come to accept that this, like anything else, is only temporary. Of course, I do take pain medication to alleviate some of my pain but I try to reduce the amount of medication I take.

Since my back went on strike, I found myself having to rely on others for physical support. Not that, given my mobility impairment, I find myself in situations when I do require help. But, I try my best to make an effort when I can. At the same time, I don’t feel less of a person if I need to ask for help - sometimes from strangers. Before, I used to be proud and reject, if I could, any attempts to assist me. Now, as I ponder on the Buddhist idea of interdependence, I have come to understand how each of us depend on one another to live on this planet.

Two weeks ago, I was helped by a man who collected trash to help me on my wheelchair. If it hadn’t been for him, I’d probably have to miss work on that day. I felt that this act meant a lot to me. It wasn’t such any trouble for him as he was a strong man. But, to me, it was an act that permitted me to go on with my life. We often choose to divide people based on characteristics such as income, beauty, social status, and so on. In our restricted world view, I suspect that a garbage collector would be on the bottom of the list of people we want to be identified with.

Yet, in truth, if someone didn’t collect our rubbish, we would have a mess everywhere - not to mention a rise in illness and disease. Indeed, my encounter with this unknown person, has made me realise how much we really depend on other people to make our daily lives worthwhile. It has also made me aware of how misguided it is of us to attach ourselves to a belief that we are better than other people just because we have had the opportunity to get an education, or find a well paid job or even because we belong to a particular faith community.

I’m not saying that all these are without value. I’m just saying that they are secondary to the most important thing of all - our humanity. For whoever we are and wherever we live  or whatever we do, we remain human beings who must face the same problems life throws at us. We remain dependent on the world around us for our survival. We depend on other living beings to sustain our mind and bodies. 

In short we are interdependent. We can never be independent. These are the lessons I have learned from my encounter with that man. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you have to ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness either. For, if you think about it, it takes courage to swallow your pride and ask for help.

It’s part of being human.

But you have to be humble enough to acknowledge it...

So, yes, I am not ashamed to admit I was helped by a garbage collector. For he and I share more similarities than differences.