The Myths of independence and the Self-Made Person

As I try to figure out what is the matter with my laptop, I realise how much I have become dependent on technology in my daily life. Indeed, one may say that I might be more dependent than other people on technology, especially information technology due to my physical and visual impairments. I realise that if I had just been born just 40 years ago, much of what I have today would have been unthinkable. 

It’s sad but true, but I would probably be staring at the wall waiting for the time to pass, forgotten perhaps, in some institution with no hope of release. And, yes, today I would be 71 today. OK, given that medical treatment to treat my condition were only just being experimented, I would probably be dead. Six feet under. Caput! Finis. Indeed, if it hadn’t been for technological progress (here I’m including medical discoveries) and reform in the socio-political landscape, my current life wouldn’t just be impossible but inconceivable.

I used to believe once in the fairy tale of the self-made individual. A person who goes from being a pauper to a prince, from rags to riches… You get the picture. But even the great “geniuses” of history that we, including self, have thought to have achieved what they have out of sheer will or determination had lots and lots of help and opportunities that allowed them to reach their peak.

However, we tend to mythologise the lives of these so-called “geniuses” and, perhaps conveniently, forget that they had access to opportunities that improved their chances of success.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not denying that such individuals did nothing. In fact, they have developed extraordinary skills and abilities. But to assume that they were born with special abilities would be stuff of fantasy and Hollywood movies. Yes, people may be born with a predisposition to excel in music, science or the arts, for example, if they are not exposed to the right stimuli or in an environment that cultivates their minds, they would not manifest anything.

What if Mozart had been born in a poor family where children had to work the hard way and there was simply no place for music as this wouldn’t contribute to thee livelihood of the family? What if Einstein was born in a part of India where the poverty was so pervasive that the only maths and physics necessary were to calculate how much money you can spend and whether you can balance your food or water to reach home - if you have one that is.

My point is simply that it would be false to believe that individuals can make it on their own. There were many factors, often omitted from biographies, that contributed if not made it possible for people to maximise their potential. This myth of independence and independent actualisation is particularly dangerous when applied to disabled people. I don’t know how many times I was praised for my resolve and determination to go on with life. While my choices had a certain influence on my current position, I would be pretentious and ‘full of it’ if I declared I did it all on my own. Indeed, people with impairments, like myself, may need more help and support to maximise their potential. Will and determination have only a little part to play in all this. If you have a choice but do not know you have one in the first place, it is unlikely that you will take it.

That’s why I believe that we should recognise that the idea of complete independence is but a myth. No one can make it on his or her own in modern society. I also think that we must refrain from mythifying the lives of others just because we think they “have beaten all odds”. Instead, we should be asking why haven’t more people experiencing the same conditions and situations failed to improve on their lives. Is the myth of independent autonomy, as we may call it, a way to rationalise the injustices of poverty and inequality? Are these our way to deny responsibility for the welfare of the whole of society not just those we deem ‘deserving’.

And, I believe, we shouldn’t start pointing at our leaders, our politicians, or those in authority, but first ask ourselves what we are doing ourselves. And, many times, this means distancing ourselves from our own affiliations, biases, prejudices and assumptions and start to treat each other with equal respect and dignity as any other human being.

Yes, I should start with my own life.

Lessons in Humility

The last week has been quite hard on me as my back pain has returned which makes getting around more painful and difficult. Yes, my back pain is back! I can’t deny that I find it hard to do the things I could do a week ago but I’ve come to accept that this, like anything else, is only temporary. Of course, I do take pain medication to alleviate some of my pain but I try to reduce the amount of medication I take.

Since my back went on strike, I found myself having to rely on others for physical support. Not that, given my mobility impairment, I find myself in situations when I do require help. But, I try my best to make an effort when I can. At the same time, I don’t feel less of a person if I need to ask for help - sometimes from strangers. Before, I used to be proud and reject, if I could, any attempts to assist me. Now, as I ponder on the Buddhist idea of interdependence, I have come to understand how each of us depend on one another to live on this planet.

Two weeks ago, I was helped by a man who collected trash to help me on my wheelchair. If it hadn’t been for him, I’d probably have to miss work on that day. I felt that this act meant a lot to me. It wasn’t such any trouble for him as he was a strong man. But, to me, it was an act that permitted me to go on with my life. We often choose to divide people based on characteristics such as income, beauty, social status, and so on. In our restricted world view, I suspect that a garbage collector would be on the bottom of the list of people we want to be identified with.

Yet, in truth, if someone didn’t collect our rubbish, we would have a mess everywhere - not to mention a rise in illness and disease. Indeed, my encounter with this unknown person, has made me realise how much we really depend on other people to make our daily lives worthwhile. It has also made me aware of how misguided it is of us to attach ourselves to a belief that we are better than other people just because we have had the opportunity to get an education, or find a well paid job or even because we belong to a particular faith community.

I’m not saying that all these are without value. I’m just saying that they are secondary to the most important thing of all - our humanity. For whoever we are and wherever we live  or whatever we do, we remain human beings who must face the same problems life throws at us. We remain dependent on the world around us for our survival. We depend on other living beings to sustain our mind and bodies. 

In short we are interdependent. We can never be independent. These are the lessons I have learned from my encounter with that man. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you have to ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness either. For, if you think about it, it takes courage to swallow your pride and ask for help.

It’s part of being human.

But you have to be humble enough to acknowledge it...

So, yes, I am not ashamed to admit I was helped by a garbage collector. For he and I share more similarities than differences.

The Human Connection

I managed to spend last Wednesday resting and dedicating my time thinking about life and how I fit in the world. It was a day of rest but this doesn’t mean that I spent the day doing nothing and lingering in bed. Indeed, when I spent time meditating or paying attention to all I did, I couldn’t help noticing that there were thoughts and feelings that emerged that weren’t so peaceful.

 

While we associate silence with peace and tranquility, a moment of silence can trigger an inner revolt that, at times, can bring to our awareness our best or our worse qualities. At least, this was my experience. It can get uncomfortable when you come face-to-face with all the bad things that seem to rise out of your mind. But, I think, it’s important for us to know that these thoughts that have accumulated inside are there. This prepares us when we are in a position to act.

 

I also realised that only a fool tries to deny his or her humanity. For all that we have accumulated in terms of knowledge and wisdom is inseparable from our being human. Not even hard science, which often claims to be objective, can escape the fact that even science cannot escape what I shall call the “human connection”. After all, we use our senses to interpret the world. Technology has permitted to access realities that we couldn’t access before due to our senses.

 

Technology that enables us to look at or listen to galaxies far away. Technology that enables us to study the microscopic and subatomic. Before, we would never imagined there could exist such realities so immense and so miniscule. Indeed, we would be excused for believing that such things didn’t exist at all. But, inasmuch as we progress in technology or scientific understanding, we remain bound to our humanity. The fact that we cannot escape our material being. The fact that whatever we produce remains limited by our body and mind.

 

Indeed, If you think about it, no area of human endeavour can escape this fact that whatever we have or build arises out of a complex relation between us and the world that is mediated through our body and mind. And, however efficient these might be in making sense of the world, they remain limited. Thus, if we hold on the idea that our reality is the only valid one, we risk misunderstanding what reality is. We fail to acknowledge that our view of the world is but one way of looking at things. However, the greatest danger is that in excluding other points of view, we also forget our basic humanity. And when that happens, we can expect  disaster for all of us.

 

So we create a politics preoccupied with votes and power, a science lacking respect for human dignity, an economy that puts money before ecology, a philosophy that condemns us to nihilism and a religion more preoccupied with rites and rituals than rekindling the human spirit.

 

This is what happens when we close ourselves to a restricted world view and one that denies our basic interdependence. It’s a world that by excluding our human connections to it, slowly conspires for our destruction.

 

Yes, this appears to be a rather gloomy post. However, I am convinced that even the most painful experiences have taught me something about who I am. I try to hold on to my commitment to grow as a human being every day. Yes, it’s sometimes good to stop what you’re doing for a while and really reflect on why you’re doing it. For, otherwise, you would be living without purpose and be unprepared when you are desperately seeking answers. When you’re in much need of hope and direction.

 

And, whoever we are, we need to remember that our life is only possible thanks to the contribution of so many people. I admit that I keep returning to that point. Forgive me for that but the more I think about it, this reality of my  human connection restores my hopes and faith that if we work together for a world that embraces the human spirit, we may be still in time to save lives and, ultimately,  our planet.

In the Dark

No light without dark

Yes, no hope without despair

No life without death

Lonely but not Alone - Part 2

Continued from Part 1

Now, we reach the final point of life when this loneliness manifests itself most strongly. a stage of life that every living being must undergo. Death. A five letter word which, in many ways, forms the basis of human history and has defined our species. Ironically, death has also ensured that our species survived all these millennia since it ensures renewal and fresh life. However, even putting it in that perspective doesn’t make it more desirable. Death frightens us for many reasons. One of the reasons that we fear death is that we don’t know what awaits us on the other side.

However, one thing that scares us is the fact that no one can die in our place. We know that once we die, for all we know, there will be nobody. Even more frightening is the realisation that we may lose our sense of self and be nothing - as if we never existed. I’m reminded of the Buddhist teaching that “form is emptiness, emptiness is form”. whatever we may believe, there is nothing in the world that can exist without others. Our craving for an “I” only makes us forget that even if we may be lonely and misunderstood, we may take the opportunity to find ourselves reflected in others and thus grow in compassion.

For, at the same time we feel lonely, many millions are also lonely. while you’re feeling unwell, many millions are unwell or even dying. when your time comes to die, keep in mind that millions of people are also dying and scared of what is beyond. There are also millions who are hoping for a better future and, in their own ways, are doing their part to reduce the suffering. We share this life in all its beauty and its horrors. But, at the end of the day or our lifetime, all the artificial boundaries that set us apart in this life, will become meaningless vanity..


THE END

Lonely but not Alone - Part 1

There are times in our life when we realise the extent of our loneliness. once we leave the safety of our mother’s womb, we find ourselves in a world which appears hostile and foreign to us. we may be surrounded by all the loving and caring people in the world but lacking the ability to make ourselves understood, we can only cry and express ourselves through our bodies. as we grow older, we manage to figure out how to get across and better communicate our needs and, eventually, develop an identity and personality. But this is only possible through our relation with others.

 

Indeed, who we are today is actually a result of many factors., starting with our early experiences with our mothers or caregivers, proceeding to our interactions with other children, then with figures of authority (teachers, religious figures, policemen, etc). The way those around us behave or the way they treated and defined us all has a lasting influence on who we are today. In this sense, the idea of a self-made person is a myth since it assumes we are unaffected by our bodies, society, culture religion or traditions., 

 

There is so much that goes on in our mind that we don’t notice. It’s when we find ourselves in a crisis that we start asking the questions. and at these times that we find ourselves almost in the same situation of our past unborn bing with an important difference. Now we’re not safe and sheltered from the outside world any longer. But we may again feel as if the world can’t relate to us which forces us to retreat to our own inner world. Yes, we may not be alone but very lonely. You’re aware that insomuch as people may be compassionate or sensitive, they won’t fully understand what is going on in your mind and heart.

For some people, disease and illness can be a moment when you realise how easy it is to lose your strength and wish that you were well again. In those moments of weakness or pain, there is a realisation that you’re alone in your experience - and yet, you know that many others have gone through a similar ordeal. But then, it’s you who are immersed in it. It may be part of our life journey as human beings but because it’s ours, it becomes the more significant and intimate.

But while accepting that all this is part of the life process doesn’t remove the pain, it opens up your heart to the pain of others. This pain need not be the cause of suffering. This doesn’t mean one gives up on life and on getting better but accept the impermanence of things and, yes, rethink your life’s priorities and learn to detach yourself from the past and try to build a better future.

 

CONTINUES...

Before the New Year

A few hours from now it will be a new year. There have been a lot of things happening in the year that I’m leaving behind. I had my fair share of happy and difficult times. There were moments when I felt like crying and others when I was truly happy and at peace. I have learned a lot about myself over the last 365 days.. I have reflected about all the experiences that have shaken me and which touched me on a deeper level. I would be lying if I said that I have now all the answers but, what I can say is that the periods where I found the time to reflect and contemplate on the nature of existence has opened my awareness to a new reality.

Many of the things I learned I tried to record on the pages of this blog. I hope to have been faithful to my experiences. But, I admit, memory is what it is and how ever we try to reproduce it, we can never be totally sure that our memory reflects our real experience. Words, concepts and the world we built often shape the way we interpret our experience and how we view things. That why it is more important to be aware of ourselves because many times what we think is right and correct is but a product of other factors that create the illusion of order and continuity,.

I don’t intend this entry to be long. But I wonder what the next year will bring. There is so much that can happen. We live in a world full of uncertainty where nothing is permanent. We may think that how we look at things is complete and correct but we can never truly escape our past, our culture, our language and our history - to name just a few. We are intrinsically connected to those around us. We have much to learn about our world but we cannot learn that lot if we remain closed in our comfortable view of the world without thinking about the important things in life.

I will continue writing over the next year. Yet, there is no guarantee that I will be here tomorrow or in the coming days, weeks or months. This is not being pessimistic or gloomy. It is being realistic. It is a reason to appreciate the life we have and to make a real effort to grow in understanding and to cultivate our compassion to other people. After all, we all face the same human experience of life,. A similar desire for peace and happiness.

The Promises of Pain

Last Monday, I was given the bad news by my dentist that three teeth had simultaneously suffered a traumatic event and needed to be extracted as early as possible. Worse still, I was told that I could only have local anaesthetic for the procedure. I had hoped that since the extractions will be substantial and stressful to my body, I hoped that general anaesthesia will be an option. Over the last four days since I was informed that, one day or another in the next few weeks, I had to return to the dentist to have this procedure done, my thoughts have been preoccupied by the prospect of having this procedure. More precisely, I would imagine the pain I will have to endure. Even when I gathered my mind to meditate, my mind returned to this concern.

From then on, the good things that happened in my life and are happening right now have been overshadowed by this dental procedure I need to undergo soon. It’s funny, when you think about it, that my teeth could exert such power over me. But, then, this boils down to the idea of interdependence - in this case, the mutual dependence of all parts of the body and mind. Indeed, no organ or system can function to its full potential if just one part of the body wasn’t working as it should. Then again, as a disabled person with a physical and visual impairment, I also know that there is such a thing as adaptability. It’s here that I realise that, as with other things, the body is always in the process of change and decay.Yet, in no way does that diminish my humanity. For, at the end of the day, this has taught me humility that, in the past, I would consider a sign of weakness.

In a way, I was justified following years of being belittled and depicted as dependent. After all, I wanted to be seen as strong, autonomous and independent as a person. But now, I realise that I have gone over to the other extreme. I now came to understand what the middle way the Buddha taught actually meant. It is a realisation that, as humans, we remain dependent on each other - or interdependent. Those who think that they are in total control of their life are living a delusional existence. For, do they make their own clothes? Do they catch their own food or cultivate the crop? Do they build their own houses and take care of their plumbing or electricity? Ultimately, are they ready to live in total isolation from other people?

I hear you asking what all this have to do with my dental procedure. Until now, I was ruled by fear of the pain I would surely have to endure. I don’t know really how or when, but now I realise that my any pain that I might experience, even if not desirable, connects me to my humanity. My experience, yes, will be individual but not unique. As I write this, many millions are suffering pain, mental anguish and isolation. Others are dying or at the last moments of their life. There’s nothing pleasurable or nice about suffering. Yet, if there is anything to learn from it is that it’s something we share with everybody - irrespective of class, race, gender, age, creed, belief, lifestyle or disability. We are connected in this way. And, although it’s not easy to do, pain and suffering can only be overcome if we deal with them as they come - not denying them or inflating them. Whether we like it or not, pain is a form of suffering that is part of the human condition. It’s up to us to ensure that it doesn’t take control over our life.

As I will probably undergo my dental procedure in the next weeks, I hope that all will go well and that I get through with minimal pain and stress. I wish to avoid unnecessary suffering if I can. What I can say that the promise of a future pain has helped me to reach out to others and try to transcend my own personal concern. The promise of pain is helping me realise that I can’t go on feeding my fear but that I need to face the pain when it arises. The promise of pain has made me more human.

The Fruits of Cooperation

When I was still a teenager, I participated in a simple enough team building exercise. A balloon was tied to our legs and the only instruction we received was to make sure that we preserved our balloon for five minutes. The person who still had a balloon tied to his or her leg after five minutes,won the game. At the time, I could still walk but it I couldn't compete with others. As the exercise started, every one proceeded to burst the other's balloon. I don't recall how long my balloon remained intact but it didn't take long I am sure. By the end of the exercise, all balloons were burst and no one had saved the balloon. While this exercise might seem childish, as I reflect more on the concept of interdependence, the more I realise how this simple exercise speaks volumes about human nature that is under the illusion that it's independent of others and which believes that it exists in its own right.

Like the participants in the balloon exercise, we assume that the only way to make it through life is to be better than others. That by resorting to any means to get what we want, we will gain happiness. True, we may feel happy and proud of having prevailed after winning over our competition but are we really winners? What if we made sure that our happiness doesn't have to come at the expense of others' happiness? Indeed, what if we helped in enriching the lives of others by making sure they find their own happiness? That we help them gain freedom from suffering created by a belief that the only happiness can be attained if they had it for themselves? or for a select few? These are not easy questions and in today's world, with its stress on individuality and competition, it might be unfashionable to speak of community and cooperation.

In this sense, our lives are not that different from the situation faced in the balloon exercise. In an attempt to preserve our happiness and protect our identity, we assume that the only way to be happy is by having something more than our neighbour. When, if you think about it, if we just waited those five minutes without bursting our peer's balloons, we could have all been winners! But it only took one to start the havoc. Perhaps it can take one person to start the change for the better. And this person may be you or me.

It's really our choice...

Who do you think you are?

If I had to ask you to define who you are, are you ready with an answer? The truth is that many live our life without asking this fundamental question. We seem to lose the ability to wonder at the beauty of the world that surrounds us. It appears as if we get used to the environment and people around us that we take them for granted. As if we have a claim to all we have. Or, what we think we have. This is perhaps one of the misfortunes of adulthood. Believing that we are independent of everything and everyone else.

Despite our belief in free will, we cannot escape the fact that we also define ourselves by our community, political and religious convictions and many more. In this sense, our independence of thought is, essentially, not as independent as we might wish to presume. There are also other factors that we have little control over, such as our height, skin colour, sex, and physical and mental functions. But then again, it’s difficult to explain why do we treat people on the basis on how they look or behave.

Unless, of course, we admit that we cannot define who we are outside of relationships. In other words, who we are must be defined in terms of a relation we have to another person or object. Our sense of being is dependent on language, culture and thinking itself. Without our body, who would we be? All this appears to offer us a bleak picture of life because, especially in Western thought, we have grown with the idea that we are independent and autonomous beings. The idea that this self-image is incorrect is devastating to a culture that professes an “I” in his/her own right.

Here, I must admit that living with my impairments has made me realise how dependent I was on others in different ways. Ironically, I also realised how some of those “others” were disabling me by treating me differently and placing obstacles that prevented me from expressing my full potential. And now that I have a social life, work and a purpose in life, I am realising how stupidI was to aim for a ‘normality’, for an ‘independence’ and ‘autonomy’. When, now that I reflect, no one who makes a claim to his/her normality, independence and autonomy is really aware of all the conditions that had to be in place for this life to continue.

For the miracle of life isn’t much in any extraordinary supernatural event but in the very fact that we are alive in the first place. And that our inevitable reality of interdependence and the impossibility of being independent makes me realise how much we owe to the person who makes sure we have electricity, the person who prepares the bread we eat, the tea cultivators who collect the tea leaves, the person who built my bed, and do many other people who have made this moment possible.

We may not be able to change what others think of us. We may even have little control over our environment. But we can take charge off our mind if we are willing to take the time to cultivate our awareness. Then, the question about who we are becomes irrelevant. Instead, we will start asking the right questions which only we can answer.

10 Years of Fear

There is already a lot of commentary and opinions trying to analyze where we are today following 10 years since the September 11, 2001 attacks. However, as we prepare to honour the many people who lost their lives on that tragic day, I feel it it’s important to ask ourselves whether the world has moved on. In other words, can we say that the planet has become a safer and more peaceful place for us to live in?

Putting aside any political interests, can we truly say that the so-called “war on terror” was real and justified? Undoubtedly, 9/11 caused great loss of life and, indeed, we must remember all those who were killed in the name of an ideology feeding on hate and revenge. But have we thought of the thousands more of equally innocent people whom have been killed in a war against an unknown target?

Don’t we care that much because they don’t belong to our culture, don’t have our values, don’t believe in the same God as we do? Perhaps, we fear, that these people we now label “Arabs” or “Muslims” are a threat to Western civilization which we believe is based on the values of democracy, respect and justice? Does this explain the rise of Islamophobia in the West and the growing popularity of far-right extremism?

Can we reconcile our supposed respect of human rights with the emerging evidence that innocent people might have been tortured and bullied to reveal dubious information about events that took place on 9/11 and to investigate whether there may be new plans to attack? Can we we pride ourselves with the good values we hold while we inflict pain and suffering on the world we never bothered to understand, let alone care for?

Are we comfortable with the fact that some multinational companies are exploiting parts of the world for their rich natural resources to gain profit while the inhabitants are living in a state of hunger and unimaginable poverty and disease? Are we ready keep watching scenes of conflict and violence on our media thinking that this doesn’t affect me? Yet, you meet someone who is different than you, perhaps a Muslim, do you become fearful and suspicious?

Yes, Osama bin Laden was killed. However, it would be naïve to think that this solved the problems that gave rise to 9/11. For horrible as the actions of Al Qaeda may have been, there are still people who have come to the conclusion that terror and violence are the only ways to stop a West, that they perceive is exploiting their lands, killing their people and impoverishing their lives. We who don’t have to deal with a situation where you have to worry about whether you’re going to eat today or how far you need to go in order to get safe drinking water, don’t appreciate that out there people are living a harsh life.

We may avoid thinking about these realities. Indeed, we may not care enough to realize that killing bin Laden, for example, only removed one symptom of a far greater disease. A disease that cannot be cured by medicine and antibiotics. The disease is fear. A malady that is sometimes so strong that it forces us to keep away from anyone or anything which we perceive as a threat. In the name of fear, we close our mind and heart to others who are different while they become mere objects where we project our darker sides. They become the targets of our hate, resentment, insults and violence. As we feed our fears, our victims lose their humanity.

Sadly, unless we don’t recognize that we can no longer go on with our life thinking what happens in other parts of the world isn’t our concern, we will be easy victims for fear and its afflictions. By closing ourselves to the suffering of others, we fail to appreciate the dire situation other people living in the world are living in. Without recognizing that, to some extent, we may have contributed to this situation, we would have learned little from 9/11. If we believe what our fears tell us, we will miss seeing that our similarities with ‘those people’ are much greater than our differences.

Unless we do all that and more, we will remain trapped in an age of fear. An age which doesn’t exist in time but in our minds.

Celebrating HH the 14th Dalai Lama's 76th Birthday

Photo of HH the Dalai Lama

On the 6th July 1935,  a boy called Tenzin Gyatso, was born to a poor farming family  in North East Tibet. If it had not been for the fact that at around age 2, he was not identified as the 14th reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, nobody would know who this person was. In fact, many people only know him by his title. I wouldn’t have predicted that I would be writing about this man, who for the people of Tibet remains a source of hope and for many who bother to get to know more about him, like myself, cannot fail to be touched by his humanity and his genuine interest to understand other people.

This isn’t meant to be a biographical account of the Dalai Lama’s life  and there are many sources to get this information. However, what I can say is that though it was unfortunate for the Dalai Lama to have to flee Tibet following China’s invasion in 1949, his refuge to India helped to raise awareness about the Tibetan cause, as well as introducing Tibetan Buddhism to the West. Not only that, but the Dalai Lama has been open to new knowledge gained from scientific enquiry and has met top scienties from around the world across various areas to discuss  what makes us, basically, the nature of reality. In addition, I admire him because he denies that he is a god-king and, recently, he gave up his role as a political leader and declared that the people of Tibet should elect their own leaders. Moreover, while retaining his position as the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, he does not exclude a time after his death when there will be no longer the need for the institution of the Dalai Lama. 

I think the first time I recall seeing the Dalai Lama was when I was about 14 years old. Even if I couldn’t understand it, I sensed this man projected something unique that you rarely witnessed in daily life. A feeling of authentic engagement with the audience, a sense of unconditional acceptance and a feeling that he was talking to you on a human level. My interest in Buddhism would grow from there but given the mixed information about Buddhism I got from those who should have known better, I always held back from delving into understanding what Buddhism was about or to read works by people who practice and teach it. Perhaps I was afraid of going against the faith I was brought up to believe and, honestly, I was still rather young and immature in certain matters - even if I had always struggled in knowing why people die or suffer in this world.

In addition, there are still plenty of misconceptions about Buddhism that people in the West have. While it’s true that Buddhists believe in cyclic existence or reincarnation, it would be wrong to reduce millennia of Buddhist doctrine to just that belief without examining its basis or that the actions we do in our lifetime have consequences and that these actions will leave an impact on our current lives and possible futures. There is also the idea that Buddhism is atheistic which is only partly true because Buddhism holds that whether there exists a God is problematic as it holds that everything arises dependently on other causes and conditions and thus nothing (including a creator God) can exist as such. It has also been argued that Buddhism is nihilistic and that it denies the existence of things. 

However, the Buddhist doctrine, if you study it closely, is commenting on how reality exist and not whether reality exists. For example, you are able to read and understand this text because you have learned language, and English at that. If it had not been for you having learned toassociate the symbols of the alphabet and that each letter stands for a sound and that a collection of sounds and letters produce words and speech, then this text would be meaningless. And while you’re there, even the words we use have their own history and we have our personal relation to certain words. This is especially true of words with strong emotional content such as “love” or racist insults. Now, nobody will contest that words do exist but Buddhist doctrine is making us aware that words depend on other factors to become what they are - in this case. Therefore, without knowing the code for deciphering language, and understanding what words represent and ultimately to understand the concept behind those words, then this text would be not better than a random patches of black shapes Z surrounded by white spaces. And then even the words “black”, “shapes”, “white” and “spaces” have more than one meaning, such as those relating to colour, race, place, form, etc.

Of course, I can’t really deal with all I’ve learned on Buddhism from my reading of the Dalai Lama’s translated works. Nor do I pretend to be any expert but just a beginner. Indeed, these past months have been literally life changing and I still have much to learn about Buddhism and the meaning of happiness. I don’t regret my upbringing and early spiritual interest in understanding the purpose of life. The more I sincerely wished to understand what other beliefs, the more I realised that there was a common longing to find “home”. I don’t even claim that Buddhism answers all the questions about life but, I feel that it has touched me in a profound way that words just cannot fully capture.

I have written a lot already. So I’ll leave you with a quote from the Dalai Lama, which in a simple way, captures the entire philosophy of Buddhism:

“If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion”

HH The 14th Dalai Lama (6 July 1935 - ...)

Online resources:

Office of HH the 14th Dalai Lama 

Mind and Life Institute