This isn't really my life...

We are often exposed to news stories reporting on the deaths of motorists, people still dying in places far away as a result of war, natural disasters or the injustices of poverty and intolerance. But, does hearing these accounts day and night, stir us in any way? Or have we become so used to these stories that we don’t perhaps stop and reflect that, behind these victims, there are real people? People who are suffering or even dying? While the killings still happening in Syria are cause for concern, many other people this minute are dying out of unnatural acts of our human failure to love and respect each other as equals.

So, we have the rich and the poor, the so-called ‘developing’ and the ‘developed’ worlds. There are the fit and the unfit. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Buddhists, Sikhs and many other religious traditions. There are secularists, humanists, and atheists. But, if I think about it, all these categories are created by us. Yes, all of us continue reinforcing these differences, often without knowing. We want to belong to a group in society that we feel is more like us. It’s irrelevant whether we identify as criminals, drug dealers, practicing believers, or convinced atheists. If we are given the opportunity to express our feelings, we tend to like those like us.

But, then again, can we really claim that our lives are ‘ours’? Many would claim this is a fact. Our life is our life and nobody has the right to impose anything on us against our will. In this, I wholeheartedly agree. The problem is when we lay claim to all our achievements and to our current position. The illusion manifests itself when we believe, without question, that our bodies belong to us, almost as if they were an object or property we have. With that I would have a problem. For, in truth, if you aren’t careful, you might run off with the impression that you can make it on your own on this Earth. In its extreme form, such a delusion may lead us to neglect our bodies or, worse still, harm others because they become simply possessions and objects to manipulate like any other utensil.

There are a couple of questions I will put out there. I won’t answer them or presume to know the answers to any of them. And, once you start reading, you will quickly realise the answers are pretty straight forward. I will, however add a short comment at the end of each question for further reflection.

Did you choose to be born?

Who brought you to the world?

Have you created the society, the culture, the science, the structure and the world you are now living in?

Have you created the planet Earth and all the living beings that populate it?

Have you created the Earth itself, the planets in the solar system and the Sun?

Have you created this galaxy, this universe and the cosmos beyond?

Have you created the stars and the matter forming the basis of material reality?

Have you sparked off all of this and can truly claim that this life, which spans for an infinitesimal stretch of time your own making?

Of course, we remain responsible for our own thoughts and actions to a point. And, even there, we are always limited as human beings. We still need many others to make it through the day. We need other living beings to survive on this planet. Starting from what we think insignificant such as flies and bees to those we deem beautiful and worth preserving. Yet, if you think about it, all beings contribute in their own ways to the welfare of the planet. Even if it may be yet unknown to us.

Unfortunately, the human species is perhaps the only animal who has actively exploited nature for its own ends. The only ‘self-aware[ being that still assumes that everything will go on as before in spite of the impact of waste, pollution, deforestation, nuclear disasters and so much more.

But, wait, I am a human being too! My life depends o so many people, so many living beings, the Earth and the stars that populate it. I cannot keep detached from all that is happening. Like you and the rest of humanity, my life depends on others. To what extent, I and others, are committed to preserving our Earth. To how far we are prepared to put our differences and desires to control and gain power for the welfare of all human beings. Indeed, our life, our bodies and even our thoughts are not exclusively our own. They are constantly shaped and sustained by the Earth. Even the very atoms and molecular structures that form our bodies originated in the beginning of the universe.

Indeed, as I ponder on the ending of another day. As another night falls beckons. I look around me with a sense of gratitude. As I look at the night sky with my feeble eyes, I ask myself…

Are we all sons and daughters of the stars?

Made of the same stuff.

Matter that will not last forever.

What exists beyond that is a matter of speculation and personal faith.

The Unrreality of Time

Today, I wanted to share some reflections on time. I noticed that my preoccupation with time started from a young age. While human beings appear to value time and even obsessed about rituals centred on time, keeping track of time had practical applications.

Indeed, time keeping was essential for agriculture, navigation and early astronomy. The significance of time is also evidenced by the fact that is also a concern of religion. In this sense, the fact that we defined time also suggests that we might have been trying to get to terms with death and the inevitability of impermanence. In fact, it may be argued that world religions which believe are a source of hope in n after-life.

All humans in general, fear death and do their utmost to avoid talking about death. While belief in a better after-life may some individuals to go on living, the danger is when people in an attempt to escape from dealing with their impermanence, go on believing that they will not die or that their truth is the only valid truth.

Consequently, instead of using their life to help others, they fixate on saving the world and divide themselves on the basis of faith. However, our thoughts are often caught in an illusion called time.

For time itself, is not real. Our experience of life stretches to a number of about more than a 100 years. While we might now that there are beings that are still living for thousands of years, we just cannot relate to such long lifetimes.

Similarly, we can't ignore that our perception of time depends other factors such as awareness of movement and space and conscious awareness. So while time is a useful concept, it doesn't exist in its own right!

Who do you think you are?

If I had to ask you to define who you are, are you ready with an answer? The truth is that many live our life without asking this fundamental question. We seem to lose the ability to wonder at the beauty of the world that surrounds us. It appears as if we get used to the environment and people around us that we take them for granted. As if we have a claim to all we have. Or, what we think we have. This is perhaps one of the misfortunes of adulthood. Believing that we are independent of everything and everyone else.

Despite our belief in free will, we cannot escape the fact that we also define ourselves by our community, political and religious convictions and many more. In this sense, our independence of thought is, essentially, not as independent as we might wish to presume. There are also other factors that we have little control over, such as our height, skin colour, sex, and physical and mental functions. But then again, it’s difficult to explain why do we treat people on the basis on how they look or behave.

Unless, of course, we admit that we cannot define who we are outside of relationships. In other words, who we are must be defined in terms of a relation we have to another person or object. Our sense of being is dependent on language, culture and thinking itself. Without our body, who would we be? All this appears to offer us a bleak picture of life because, especially in Western thought, we have grown with the idea that we are independent and autonomous beings. The idea that this self-image is incorrect is devastating to a culture that professes an “I” in his/her own right.

Here, I must admit that living with my impairments has made me realise how dependent I was on others in different ways. Ironically, I also realised how some of those “others” were disabling me by treating me differently and placing obstacles that prevented me from expressing my full potential. And now that I have a social life, work and a purpose in life, I am realising how stupidI was to aim for a ‘normality’, for an ‘independence’ and ‘autonomy’. When, now that I reflect, no one who makes a claim to his/her normality, independence and autonomy is really aware of all the conditions that had to be in place for this life to continue.

For the miracle of life isn’t much in any extraordinary supernatural event but in the very fact that we are alive in the first place. And that our inevitable reality of interdependence and the impossibility of being independent makes me realise how much we owe to the person who makes sure we have electricity, the person who prepares the bread we eat, the tea cultivators who collect the tea leaves, the person who built my bed, and do many other people who have made this moment possible.

We may not be able to change what others think of us. We may even have little control over our environment. But we can take charge off our mind if we are willing to take the time to cultivate our awareness. Then, the question about who we are becomes irrelevant. Instead, we will start asking the right questions which only we can answer.

Life of Animals

Last Monday, our pet rabbit “Daisy” died and, just two days later, our other rabbit “Floppy” died. The fact that these sudden deaths came only a few days after my entry on impermanence was a poignant reminder that the temporal nature of physical existence was not merely an abstraction but a daily and tangible reality. However, I felt strangely saddened by the death of Daisy and Floppy as if I had developed a special relationship with these creatures. I also must have grown used to seeing them every day and, in many ways, grew attached to a life that included them.

If I think about it, we do have a peculiar rapport with animals. Some animals we would eat without question - unless you’re a vegetarian, and, a few chosen ones we consider “pets”. In fact, we also name our animals using a variety of names ranging from the creative, to the mediocre the exotic. But, most wouldn’t identify with the pig that gave them their bacon, the cow that gave them their beef, or the chicken that gave them their chicken nuggets. Thus, the leap that turns animals from food to pets is, in so many ways, simply an artificial product of the mind. In the real world, there is no distinction between the cat and the cockroach, the dog and the fly.

Why do I choose cockroaches and flies? Because I admit, I had an irrational fear of roaches since I was younger and well, flies, are annoying. But, then, as I reflected about my perceptions on other animals and living beings, we think of some animals as worthy of our love, care and attention, only if they fulfill our purposes and needs. As a consequence, life becomes of value depending on the role we impose on living creatures.

However, if one claims to believe in animal rights by opposing animal cruelty, abuse or testing, one is only partly addressing the issue. In the West, for example, we tend to have an idea of ourselves as mostly in favor of animal welfare. But, which animals are we talking about? Isn’t the list of animals that we purport to “defend” defined by our culture and beliefs. As a result, by defining which aninals are worthy of rights and which are not, we are replicating the conviction that as human beings we have a dominion over the world and its creatures.

I don’t mean to judge or make readers feel guilty about the attitudes we have to life. I just wanted to express my inner concerns as I meditate on the sudden death of two rabbits that I grew attached to. If these were just any other rabbits, honestly, I might have eaten them in a stew. In Malta, we do eat rabbit once in a while. And that makes me wonder whether the distinction I thought existed between food and pets is really real or just a fabrication like so many concepts and ideas we have of the world. The fact that I still consume meat is problematic now as well. 

For inasmuch as we think we are  better than animals and other living beings, we will have to die like the rest of them. And while we may have greater self-awareness than other living creatures, we still are too immersed in our individual bubbles without appreciating the essential inter-dependence  of worldly life and the essential nature of who we are.