A Return Home - Part 2

Continued from Part 1

Today, I may say that I’ve returned home - even if I’ll soon be moving on - it’s still currently my home. But, in truth, this is only my temporary home. It may not be even be my real home. For when I leave this life, I have to give up all I have come to know as a human being.

Then, after my body dies, will I return to my authentic home?

Will I find my refuge?

Perhaps I have already found it...

One thing appears clear. My outlook on life has changed again. I'm sure it will change again in the future. I have grown to appreciate more what I learned from this ongoing journey of self-discovery and comprehend better what the Buddha and other great spiritual figures such as Jesus were saying.

That living a good life or finding happiness meant that we have to die for ourselves. That, no matter what society says or thinks, we can only gain if we lose our attachment to the self and objects that don't last but open our heart and mind to the other and to a world far greater than we are.

To lose ourselves to a universe so immense and mysterious that removes from us any pretensions that we are, in any way, the greatest gift to humanity.

This doesn't mean that we despair and indulge in self-loathing or give up on life. On the contrary, it's an invitation to be happy and discover a peace that is beyond our imagination and expectation.

We'll return to our real home.

A home where we are free.

A home that no one or nothing can destroy.

A place of refuge.

A Return Home? - Part 1

Yesterday, I was discharged from hospital - thus ending my stay in hospital. When I got out for the first time, I felt that the world around me looked different. The sun would soon be setting in a few hours but I could just make out the buildings and streets we had to pass through as I made my way back home.

I was struck by the fact that even if I have travelled this way before so many times, I wasn’t really noticing what was around me before. It was like awakening from a bad dream. Life became so vibrant... So real! I was a witness to what I was sensing without judging or conceptualising what I was perceiving.

I felt rested and appreciated being in silence. Admittedly, the last week at hospital where I had to share a room were particularly hard on me and I didn’t get a lot of sleep at night. I was surprised by how much commotion and noise there could be at times and then, silence. Indeed, hospital is a place of extremes.

I witnessed the best and the worse of human nature. Nursing staff who treated patients with dignity and respect. Others who could be cruel and insensitive to the pain of the other. There were words of kindness and words uttered aimed only to shame and humiliate. Words aimed to dominate and belittle another.

Believe me, I tried to rationalise the ugly things that happened but I couldn’t really excuse such acts of inhumanity.

Of course, these actions were few and far between but that doesn’t reduce their ugliness. I know that there is a lot of stress and frustration involved with working in an environment where you’re constantly seeing disease, death and social problems. Yet, there are those who rise up to the challenge and manage to comfort and genuinely help those In need. Perhaps, it is in people like this that I retain my hope in the basic goodness of human beings.

For, after all, I am also a human being seeking that happiness and freedom from suffering we all are seeking. Unfortunately, we do sometimes end up hurting or harming others because we forget that we are part of the same human family. We forget that we are also the sons and daughters of the Earth and depend on it for our survival. We forget that we are also the offspring of the universe which has given us our mind and bodies.

Continues...

Our Lives: Past, Present and Future

I've come a long way since I started my investigation into the meaning of life. My attempt to understand the nature of my reality. The reason for being. Indeed, I've changed a lot as I ask questions about what is happening around me: in my personal life, in my local community and within the global family. I have found a few answers and I still got many other queries that remain unresolved.

Undertaking this journey leaves you feeling rather lonely. However, paradoxically, it can leave you more connected to the world like never before. I have been helped immensely by my exploration of Buddhist thought. In fact, as I delve deeper in my understanding, I have discovered peace and happiness that I have never experienced - except in those rare occasions. I  bust admit that I had an early interst in the Buddhist tradition but was perhaps too afraid to develop this interest. That is, until  today.

Don't get me wrong. The path I chose to take is a personal choice. It isn't for everyone but the more I learn about the philosophy behind the Buddhist practice of contemplative meditation, the more I am convinced that I am getting somewhere. I still have a lot of respect for Christianity as I was brought up in this tradition. Indeed, my desire to pursue an alternative way of looking at life and living doesn't diminish my respect for the value of my past teaching. In fact, as I discover facts about Buddhism, I can't help notice significant par allels between Christian morality and Buddhist morality.

At the same time, I find that the Buddhist way of thought and analysis works for me. I have also gained a lot from my daily practice of meditation. I am finding new ways of looking at the world. I feel, for the first time, that there is something unique and precious in this life that I've taken for granted. I am sincerely grateful when I wake up in the morning - usually to start the day with a few minutes meditating about what I dreamt, the feelings I had on opening my eyes and thoughts about the day ahead.

I don't want you to think that there aren't moments when I'm sad, angry or anxious - for example. The fact that these and other emotions are part of our life. We can't help feeling angry if we feel cheated, or sad if we got bad news about a friend, or even if someone passed an unkind remark. But, if we are mindful enough of our thoughts and feelings, we can change the way we relate to ourselves and, by extension, how we relate to others.

At the end of it all, our emotions come and go. That is the nature of life - the essence of reality. The impermanence of things. And as our emotions rise and fall in our consciousness, so will our bodies one day perish. But, then, what comes next is anyone's guess. It's good to have faith in a world beyond but it's equally important to cultivate happiness now and today. Not just for your own sake but for the benefit of the entire human family.

Celebrating HH the 14th Dalai Lama's 76th Birthday

Photo of HH the Dalai Lama

On the 6th July 1935,  a boy called Tenzin Gyatso, was born to a poor farming family  in North East Tibet. If it had not been for the fact that at around age 2, he was not identified as the 14th reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, nobody would know who this person was. In fact, many people only know him by his title. I wouldn’t have predicted that I would be writing about this man, who for the people of Tibet remains a source of hope and for many who bother to get to know more about him, like myself, cannot fail to be touched by his humanity and his genuine interest to understand other people.

This isn’t meant to be a biographical account of the Dalai Lama’s life  and there are many sources to get this information. However, what I can say is that though it was unfortunate for the Dalai Lama to have to flee Tibet following China’s invasion in 1949, his refuge to India helped to raise awareness about the Tibetan cause, as well as introducing Tibetan Buddhism to the West. Not only that, but the Dalai Lama has been open to new knowledge gained from scientific enquiry and has met top scienties from around the world across various areas to discuss  what makes us, basically, the nature of reality. In addition, I admire him because he denies that he is a god-king and, recently, he gave up his role as a political leader and declared that the people of Tibet should elect their own leaders. Moreover, while retaining his position as the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, he does not exclude a time after his death when there will be no longer the need for the institution of the Dalai Lama. 

I think the first time I recall seeing the Dalai Lama was when I was about 14 years old. Even if I couldn’t understand it, I sensed this man projected something unique that you rarely witnessed in daily life. A feeling of authentic engagement with the audience, a sense of unconditional acceptance and a feeling that he was talking to you on a human level. My interest in Buddhism would grow from there but given the mixed information about Buddhism I got from those who should have known better, I always held back from delving into understanding what Buddhism was about or to read works by people who practice and teach it. Perhaps I was afraid of going against the faith I was brought up to believe and, honestly, I was still rather young and immature in certain matters - even if I had always struggled in knowing why people die or suffer in this world.

In addition, there are still plenty of misconceptions about Buddhism that people in the West have. While it’s true that Buddhists believe in cyclic existence or reincarnation, it would be wrong to reduce millennia of Buddhist doctrine to just that belief without examining its basis or that the actions we do in our lifetime have consequences and that these actions will leave an impact on our current lives and possible futures. There is also the idea that Buddhism is atheistic which is only partly true because Buddhism holds that whether there exists a God is problematic as it holds that everything arises dependently on other causes and conditions and thus nothing (including a creator God) can exist as such. It has also been argued that Buddhism is nihilistic and that it denies the existence of things. 

However, the Buddhist doctrine, if you study it closely, is commenting on how reality exist and not whether reality exists. For example, you are able to read and understand this text because you have learned language, and English at that. If it had not been for you having learned toassociate the symbols of the alphabet and that each letter stands for a sound and that a collection of sounds and letters produce words and speech, then this text would be meaningless. And while you’re there, even the words we use have their own history and we have our personal relation to certain words. This is especially true of words with strong emotional content such as “love” or racist insults. Now, nobody will contest that words do exist but Buddhist doctrine is making us aware that words depend on other factors to become what they are - in this case. Therefore, without knowing the code for deciphering language, and understanding what words represent and ultimately to understand the concept behind those words, then this text would be not better than a random patches of black shapes Z surrounded by white spaces. And then even the words “black”, “shapes”, “white” and “spaces” have more than one meaning, such as those relating to colour, race, place, form, etc.

Of course, I can’t really deal with all I’ve learned on Buddhism from my reading of the Dalai Lama’s translated works. Nor do I pretend to be any expert but just a beginner. Indeed, these past months have been literally life changing and I still have much to learn about Buddhism and the meaning of happiness. I don’t regret my upbringing and early spiritual interest in understanding the purpose of life. The more I sincerely wished to understand what other beliefs, the more I realised that there was a common longing to find “home”. I don’t even claim that Buddhism answers all the questions about life but, I feel that it has touched me in a profound way that words just cannot fully capture.

I have written a lot already. So I’ll leave you with a quote from the Dalai Lama, which in a simple way, captures the entire philosophy of Buddhism:

“If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion”

HH The 14th Dalai Lama (6 July 1935 - ...)

Online resources:

Office of HH the 14th Dalai Lama 

Mind and Life Institute

Homecoming

I spent the last days since I posted my last entry reflecting on how I can convey the significance of this moment in my life. Indeed, it's difficult for me to put into words what I'm going through. I have chained in a way so personal and yet within the reach of every human being if given a chance.

As I was commuting from work back home after another day at the office, I was again reflecting on how to articulate this new outlook on life. I wanted to be authentic and even perfect in my account. During the journey, I perceived that that I had to ask myself why I wanted this post to be impeccable.

In the meantime, I was witnessing through the window: buildings, pavements, shop names, various models of cars and more roads ahead. I had travelled this route so many times that I didn't really notice it. Speeding on, my van driver was hurrying to take me back home.

I realised that, like the van, I had been rushing through life without living the present. I sought home where I thought there was peace and happiness without remembering that I was already home. We strive to lay claim to our individuality that we forget that whoever we are we share a common humanity that defines us.

The homecoming I speak of, thus, is the return to a state of peace and happiness. A moment in life when you find that something makes sense to you. When you need to stop searching and start living. I am aware that the path you may find to achieve homecoming may vary.

Yet, after familiarising myself with its central principles, I felt I've returned home when I got too engage with Tibetan Buddhism. I must be clear that doesn't imply that I have converted to Buddhism as a religion, but rather that I want to embrace and cultivate a Buddhist way of thinking. To gain, as the Dalai Lama put it, a 'new awaren'.

I hope you follow me In my journey exploring the Buddhist way of life.