Our Lives: Past, Present and Future

I've come a long way since I started my investigation into the meaning of life. My attempt to understand the nature of my reality. The reason for being. Indeed, I've changed a lot as I ask questions about what is happening around me: in my personal life, in my local community and within the global family. I have found a few answers and I still got many other queries that remain unresolved.

Undertaking this journey leaves you feeling rather lonely. However, paradoxically, it can leave you more connected to the world like never before. I have been helped immensely by my exploration of Buddhist thought. In fact, as I delve deeper in my understanding, I have discovered peace and happiness that I have never experienced - except in those rare occasions. I  bust admit that I had an early interst in the Buddhist tradition but was perhaps too afraid to develop this interest. That is, until  today.

Don't get me wrong. The path I chose to take is a personal choice. It isn't for everyone but the more I learn about the philosophy behind the Buddhist practice of contemplative meditation, the more I am convinced that I am getting somewhere. I still have a lot of respect for Christianity as I was brought up in this tradition. Indeed, my desire to pursue an alternative way of looking at life and living doesn't diminish my respect for the value of my past teaching. In fact, as I discover facts about Buddhism, I can't help notice significant par allels between Christian morality and Buddhist morality.

At the same time, I find that the Buddhist way of thought and analysis works for me. I have also gained a lot from my daily practice of meditation. I am finding new ways of looking at the world. I feel, for the first time, that there is something unique and precious in this life that I've taken for granted. I am sincerely grateful when I wake up in the morning - usually to start the day with a few minutes meditating about what I dreamt, the feelings I had on opening my eyes and thoughts about the day ahead.

I don't want you to think that there aren't moments when I'm sad, angry or anxious - for example. The fact that these and other emotions are part of our life. We can't help feeling angry if we feel cheated, or sad if we got bad news about a friend, or even if someone passed an unkind remark. But, if we are mindful enough of our thoughts and feelings, we can change the way we relate to ourselves and, by extension, how we relate to others.

At the end of it all, our emotions come and go. That is the nature of life - the essence of reality. The impermanence of things. And as our emotions rise and fall in our consciousness, so will our bodies one day perish. But, then, what comes next is anyone's guess. It's good to have faith in a world beyond but it's equally important to cultivate happiness now and today. Not just for your own sake but for the benefit of the entire human family.

Finding Order in Chaos - Part 1

Today, I want to talk more about two aspects of everyday life that I am now understanding better as I reflect on my experience. These are change on the one hand, and difference on the other. Now you may wonder why I entitled this post “Finding Order in Chaos”. After all, we tend to perceive order and chaos as being opposites. But, if you think about it, the concept of “order” is dependent on what we conceive as being unstable or, in some way, not meeting our expectations of how things should be. However, isn’t our idea of “order” based on a pre-conceived idea of a reality that simply doesn’t exist in the real world. Indeed, if you are at all familiar with quantum mechanics, you’ve probably heard that matter smaller than the atom can exist at two places at once. In other words, it can be said that from the chaotic nature of subatomic particles, a complex order emerges. Examples of this order include complex chemical and living organisms. While these complex systems appear orderly, their foundations remain chaotic.

By now, you may be asking:

• How is this related to change?

• What about difference?

I don’t pretend to have the answers. I only have an idea that I is based on experience and reflection. To continue with the themes of this post, my idea may change with time and, in fact, I may be arguing in a different way as I grow older. But back to our argument.

Let me tackle the first question. How is change related to what I said in relation to order and chaos? Well, change reminds many people of chaos. Believe me, I can talk about how changes in your life can wreak havoc in your daily affairs. I can think of three major changes in my life that affected - or should I say “affect” - me to this day.

The first was probably when I realized that my physical impairment meant various things to different people. Not only did I was forced to rethink how I looked at myself but I also attempted to hide my difference. The second time was when I was admitted to hospital about 12 years ago with serious bleeding. If I hadn’t received treatment on that fateful summer’s day, I would not be writing this today. Ok, I just wouldn’t. The third experience was when I developed cataracts in both eyes making me legally blind for at least four years. Even if I have been operated on both eyes, I lost one eye and I still have low vision in my right eye.

Continues...