A Meditation on Forgetting

 

 

 

 

A Confession

I must confess that I have forgotten  to write an entry on the occasion of HH Dalai Lama which I started doing when I started this site. I have already written extensively about how indebted I am to HH 14th Dalai Lama for opening my mind to a fresh understanding of life and reality. I find that I feel a bit angry and rather ashamed of having forgotten the man who helped e to embark on the journey where I can better understand who I am and my place in this world.

 

In a way, this journey of self-discovery which I have been writing about since 2011 began as a child. But then, my curiosity to know about HH Dalai Lama and to understand Buddhism didn’t take me far. Even my brief exploration of world religions that I carried out as I was writing my book Cosmos also didn’t help me that much as I only read sources which tended to hold that Buddhism was a nihilistic tradition.
I find that the past remains an important part of who we are. It’s true that it’s not good to dwell on the past but it would be wrong that we completely forget it. For the past, whether we like it or not, has affected and affects who we are today.

 

Yes, I forgot that on the 6th JUly of 1935, a young boy called Tenzin Gyatso would be declared to be the re-incarnation of his predecessor Thubten Gyatso. Much has been written, of course, on the Dalai Lama’s early days but I feel That I have been affected but the way he speaks and expresses his thoughts with a rare sincerity and with a genuine interest in the welfare of all humankind and all sentient beings. Yet, as he admits himself, he is just a man like any other and he doesn’t want people to regard him as a god-figure. In particular, there are three things that have struck me as he talks about Buddhism. Precepts that, you might have noticed, I constantly refer to when writing here and which I use as guides in other writing that is not related to Buddhism as such.

 

My Guiding Principles

These principles, simply put are:

Dependent arising. The teaching that who we are is the product of countless causes and conditions that have made our life possible.

 

co-dependence e. The reality that who we are and what we have depends on other factors that are beyond our control. These range from the physical world - material objects, nature, living things and weather conditions; to the relations we have with other people.

 

Impermanence. The fact that nothing lasts forever. Everything in the universe is changing, including the universe itself. And, all all of this will one time end.

The Impermanence of Forgetting

 

In this sense, we can see forgetting as the manifestation of the impermanence of memory. Yet, we may forget other things in life that are as important as memory is to remember who we are. I feel that, due to strong emotions, that arose from a dark place within. As a result, I started forgetting what was important in my life. I was forgetting the values I believed in. Perhaps I was under the illusion that I was better than others or that I had a rightful claim to be arrogant because I felt that I was in the right and that all I said can't and shouldn't be contradicted because it was absolute - when, in fact, right as it may have been, it was relative. Yes, I may have been in the right at times but my approach was also wrong.

It is often the case that because we feel we have found our truth, we forget that we remain always subjective in our judgments and fail to consider how our words and actions might affect other people.

I am not saying that we do wrong if we make our point or feel that we must take action. Yet, even if we are right and correct, the way we assert our convictions can easily undermine their importance. It’s a choice whether to pursue the path of violence or the path of non-violence. The former may appear to be stronger and the more effective. Yet, while the path of violence may get more immediate results, it only reacts to the effect of the real cause of our affliction and may also obscure the real causes of the affliction.

 

Healing the Past: To Forgive, Not Forget…

I am sorry that I forgot to remember that on July 6, 1935, Tenzin Gyatso was born. But, I feel greater sorrow that while my writing has been largely unaffected by past afflictions, I cano’t say the same about some words and actions that I have carried out in an attempt to reclaim what I felt was unfairly taken away from me.

 

But, in doing so, I became a slave to this past and never really freed myself.

The only way we have to heal the past is to forgive all the injustice perpetrated against us as we can’t change the past. Yet, while we should not forget our past as it has shaped who we are, we should strive to forgiveness ensures that we don’t remain slaves to our past and be willing to be more open to trusting others guided by the wisdom of our past injustices.

 

We should strive to cultivate our compassion as it is the only guarantee of our own happiness and that of others.
In HH the 14th Dalai Lama’s own words:

 

“If you want to be happy… practice compassion…

 

If you want others to be happy… practice compassion…”

 

I wish belated wishes to HH Dalai Lama.

 

Thank you very very much!

 

Older Entries

2011: Celebrating HH the 14th Dalai Lama's 76th Birthday
2012: Tomorrow ... It's the 6th July? So, It's HH 14th Dalai Lama's 77th birthday!!!

The Day of Reflection

To begin….

Over here in Malta, we’ll be having the elections tomorrow - the 9th March 2013. An event that normally happens every five years. It’s a time when we will have a chance to have a say in the running of our country. Yet, we often take the democratic process we have today too much. For granted. We don’t realise that the vote and the democratic process may be the best form of political system we have. And, even then, we may not know that the democracy we have today isn’t like that of ancient Greece, were only the rich and privileged had a vote. Or, the ‘democracy’ were only men of a certain class were allowed to vote while more than half of the population, women, were excluded. Their vote didn’t count.

Today was also a day of reflection. A day when all political expression in the media or for public consumption is, technically, illegal. But, how many of us actually appreciate the right to vote we have in our democracies? How much do politicians are really interested in the betterment of society, or are they more interested in gaining our vote for the sake of power? I will not be tackling the second question because I leave it to you to judge on your own the political merits of respective candidates. However, before this day is over, I wanted to share a few thoughts and reflections, together from some quotes which have helped me believe that, while I’m still denied the right to vote in secret, I have the right to vote. And, while alone I will not bring about a revolution, I can make a difference. But I cannot make that difference on my own.

Questions, Quotes, etc.

Do I really appreciate the right I have to vote?

Do I believe that I can express my anger and frustration by simply voting because of personal interests or motivations?

Can I afford NOT to vote and forfeit my right to vote?

But, then, is the vote just a right or a duty I have to my society?

Would I, by wasting or abusing my right to vote also going against what I believe in?

“It is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.”  Albert Einstein

What about truth?

Have I really thought over my decision in voting?

Did what I heard in political speeches and debates faithful to the truth?


M I ready to follow a leader just because I have learned not to question?

Does the leader talk a lot about himself and not about how he’ll make our society better?

Have I bothered to go beyond what parties are telling me and dared to ask the right questions?

Am I following the party just because I feel a sense of belonging or because I sincerely think that the party is in tune with the values it purports to hold?

Do I honestly believe that as long as I’m comfortable after the elections,I don’t care about the rest?

Aren’t we all dependent on each other in our society? Or in our lives?

Aren’t other people’s losses but my own?

Am I prepared to do the right thing, even if it might hurt at first?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

How?

how did the respective parties tackled issues facing minorities or excluded groups?

How did they deal with people of different opinions, faith or belief?

Do they believe that the majority should decide on human rights and that human beings don’t have a right to dignity and respect they deserve without needing to justify their life?

Finally...

Has the political rhetoric intoxicate our minds and hearts as to forget that we share a common humanity and inasmuch as we hold our political beliefs, we remain subject to the same pains and pleasures this life has to offer.

We live in a society made up of individuals. Yet neither can society impose itself on the individual nor the individual can exist without a society. That’s why I chose to right this entry on this day of reflection. Not because I’m not a bit anxious about voting tomorrow and its possible aftermath. But I wanted to reassure myself that whatever I vote tomorrow, I hope to vote with a clear mind and be true to my beliefs and convictions.

I may be unhappy with the result if it doesn’t follow on my choices. But, if anything, I will sleep on Saturday night with a peaceful conscience because I know that I did what I could. I was true to my own self.

Nobody knows what the future will be like. Perhaps I’ll discover that there open new possibilities that I was never aware of. The truth I believe in fills me with the will to live on. I want a society that is equal, just and more compassionate. I can’t expect that all all these aspirations will be achieved if I don’t play my part. However, I cannot deny that Malta has progressed a lot in all these areas. Granted, there’s still things to be done. But, come what may, we all need to continue working together. I end this entry by another two quotes that helped me to restore a certain hope in the future ahead. As for me, there’s not much to add. Just to remember to vote with a clear mind and a compassionate heart.

And remember:

“whether your cause has many or few adherents, truth will still prevail.” HH the 14th Dalai Lama

Or, if you feel you have failed in your cause, remember the words of Gandhi:

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.” Mohandas K.  Gandhi

Tomorrow ... It's the 6th July? So, It's HH 14th Dalai Lama's 77th birthdy!!!

Tomorrow,the 6th July 2012, his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama celebrates his 77th birthday. I have written an entry one year ago on that date, which I encourage you to read as well. In the post, simply entitled, “Celebrating  HH the 14th Dalai Lama's 76th Birthday”, I shared my experiences during my early readings of some of his works and the impressions of him as I watched YouTube videos where he talks. 

Since that time, I have continued to cultivate my practice and to grow in mindfulness and compassion. Over these months, I have read and listened to books, podcasts and talks on the teachings of Buddha (or dharma talks). I continue to learn and explore what it means to be a human being and have discovered a profound value in life that transcends all the attachments and limitations that we often choose to impose onto ourselves and on others. This, I learned is the real source of y suffering, or in Pali, ‘dukkha’.

I don’t feel that I have to convince you or anyone that the path I chose to go deeper into Buddhism is the right way for all. In fact, one thing that I always admired in HH the Dalai Lama was his appeal to first follow the spiritual tradition of your family and, then, if necessary, follow another path and not necessarily the Buddhist way either. I find myself now in a position when I can say, I have found meaning and peace in Buddhism.

And, here, I don’t mean that I have espoused the teaching and dogma of the religion such as the hierarchy of the many gods that can be found in the religious tradition. Indeed, unlike other faith traditions, God or any notions of a god are, somehow, irrelevant as we have the ultimate responsibility over our actions and on our happiness. Still, it would be unfair to call Buddhism as ‘atheistic’ but, rather, as ‘non-theistic’. 

I think that Buddhism did make me reconsider the representation of God or what God is or whether such a creator exists or not. I believe today that if we really wish to find God, God is to be found in the experience of life, in others and in ourselves. But, another thing I have learned through my readings of the Dalai Lama, is that often we become attached too much on ideas about who we are and giving undue importance to the things we have or the status and reputation we have gained in society rather than recognise how really temporary all these things are. 

How, we fail, many times to appreciate the life we’ve got, the life we have been given, the little time we have on this world. We fail to appreciate all the world, all the people and all the gifts we have that enable us to live another day. I, myself, have much to learn. 

As I prepare to welcome a new night and await another morning, I think about many things. I reflect about my life and how, even these hard times, I continue hoping in tomorrow. Not that I don’t get angry or sad, but putting things into perspective, I find refuge in the fact that nothing is permanent and, even if my life would end tomorrow, I did my best to be authentic and true to who I am.

For, as I spent time growing in my self-discovery, the more I realise how much this life is precious and how much more I’m limited and dependant. I smile as I remember HH Dalai Lama’s candid laugh and calm words. Words uttered without pretension or arrogance. Words spoken in the language of love and genuine compassion.

Happy birthday, Your Holiness!!!

The Desert of Authenticity

This is a period where I feel a strong need of silence. It[‘ a moment where I am completely lost. A moment in my life when the old ways seem not satisfying enough. I am still searching for an answer to the most basic questions of life. I found a lot of help as I read the writings of people who have or are wiser than me and who have gained insight from their experiences. I admit that I am particularly drawn into the contemplative traditions found both in Buddhism and Christianity. I am filled with a sense of hope and mystery on reading many works written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and the late cistercian monk, Father Thomas Merton who was a contemplative monk.

There are many reasons why I chose these figures in particular. I can say that these two people  have reawakened   a sense of being within me that acknowledges our human condition but, at the same time, transcends it. Indeed, both figures have emphasised the importance of prayer, meditation and mindfulness that is balanced by work and action in the real world. Believe or good intention is not enough if we really want to express who we truly are. I confess that I’n not sure whether this sense of dissatisfaction  which has compelled me to start changing my life,. However, there’s always that doubt where I find myself asking whether my intention to find meaning in another way life is not simply my attempt to escape reality and whether this ‘call’ I feel is really authentic or whether it’s another way to boost my sense of self and inflate my pride.

While contemplation requires us to take action, I believe, it’s essential for us to understand who we are and cultivate our compassion to others. Yet, who is this other? Who is ‘the other? In Buddhist texts, one is encouraged to cultivate compassion to those you love and are close to your heart, then to those who you are neutral to, and finally, to those who have become your enemies. But, while we may be prepared to open our hearts to the first two groups, our hearts seem to harden in face of our enemies. But, in truth, this is inconsistent even with Jesus’ call to go beyond loving those who love us and extend our love to our enemies. I’m not saying that loving one’s enemies is easy - especially when we are harmed by them. I don’t even claim I am close to attaining that degree of compassion. However,  it’s clear that these appeals for us to be compassionate  contain a  message that bids us to recognise our common humanity.

I feel burdened by the uncertainty that seems to haunt me today. I continue with cultivating my understanding of Buddhism while searching for parallels of Buddhist teachings Found in Christianity. At first, I feared that my journey into Buddhism meant that I was becoming a kind of a Christian  heretic. Yet, what I seek to find appears to fortify my resolve and commitment to a cause, I believe, is  far greater than any limited understandings of humanity based on a closed world view that is more ready to defend the law than to live the spirit of the law. I have become aware that it may be more important to me to cultivate the seeds of love and compassion and promote dialogue and genuine cooperation rather than to engage in conflict and hate in the name of doctrine and dogma. I feel it’s important to change who you are for the better rather than expect others to change first. However, that is  why it’s essential  for us to understand who we really are before we can grow. At least, I feel that we cannot truly be authentic before we ask ourselves questions and be ready to challenge our own beliefs about who we think we are.

Over these past few weeks, I came up with three questions I feel I must answer to clarify my current sense of not knowing. I will just list them with a few reflections:

Who am I?  

This question relates to being. At the most basic, who are we? Are we not ordinary human beings who must face similar stages of life? Don’t we all get sick, get old (if we make it) and die? Don’t we all suffer in some way or another in this life? Or, do I perceive myself as separate or even superior to other human beings just because I don’t really consider them worthy of my respect or compassion? Or, on the other extreme, have I 

chosen to see myself as a victim who is less than other people to escape from taking responsibility over my life? 

Read the reflection 

What am I?

This question relates to belonging. Who are those groups I have been identified with? Ho are those groups which I have chosen to be part of? What community or identity have I adopted to define who I am as a person? Does my  choice about which groups I associate with creating barriers when relating to other human beings outside my group or community?

Read the reflection.

Why am I?

This question relates to becoming. It is a question that is intrinsically linked to the questions of being and belonging. It’s a question that seeks to understand our true purpose or commitment in life. While we are meant to reflect on our being and on where we feel we belong in the world, , this question goes further as it invites us to ask ourselves what it means to be authentic to who we truly are. Simply put, it’s a question that is asking us whether we Are living in harmony with our authentic being. In addition, it is beckoning to ask ourselves whether we have thought about the meaning of our being itself and whether we have managed to find meaning and purpose to our lives.

Read the reflection to the last question.. 

Conclusion

I will end this entry here. I will be reflecting and meditating on these questions as I feel a strong need to better understand the source of my sense of loss and discovery. I hope you have the time to think about them but, of course, it’s completely up to you. I confess that the more I delve deeper into my being, the more I feel there is so much to find. I don’t know if I’ll find any answer or find peace at the end. But, I feel, that I owe it to myself and to all those around me to become a better person. 

Ultimately, this life can be thought of  as a personal call to be authentic!