Facing the Call - Ending

Continues from Part 3

We’ve reached thee end of this series where I re-examine the purpose of my life. Ironically, it had to be the new year which was prompted me to realize that I couldn’t go on with one of my aspirations mainly due to persistent health problems. I spent these days meditating on this choice between working and living what would be considered a rather 'ordinary' life, I finally come to a realization. Not perfect or complete

I've realized how I may have been superficial in some ways by expecting that by advancing in one area of my life, I could gain a greater value as a person. When I should know that if it wasn't for the many people in my life - parents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, priests, - The list goes on and on - I wouldn't be who I am today. In addition, I realize I'm also indebted to the many figures who came here before me and who left their legacy to us. To be honest, I should also include my enemies to the list of people to be grateful to - not for the harm they seek or sought but for providing me with the opportunity to practice patience and grow in many ways in self-understanding.

We're truly so connected to each other and to all living beings and material things that we often miss it. Yet, when we lose an important part of our lives or are faced by a crisis, we become aware of how much we took what we had as if we could never lose it. as if things would never change. as if we had a right to own it - whatever it was. If you think about it, not even 'our' names are even our own. They were handed down to us by our caregivers and names emerge out of a long history and tradition. We all know that we're not our names or titles but we often act as if they had an existence beyond themselves.

But the truth I'm gaining over my Buddhist practice is that nothing actually exists without being intrinsically related to things or, in our case, to things, people and ideas. besides, as I consider how many changes that my mind and body have undergone, it's useless to cling to what we have been given. This isn't saying that we shouldn't value what we have but that we shouldn't give what we have undue value in our life. Like everything else, they must end one day. Yes, that includes you and me.

As I think about the decision I've taken to abandon my previous aspirations, which have to be put aside, I feel sad and disappointed. I can't deny that as I recall how much of time and energy I had already put into it. But the fact is that I'm not that strong to continue as I was. Yet, I've taken a choice to pursue my goal in another way and by using my potential as a writer to the fullest and to develop myself as a person.

The call isn't about gaining fame, fortune or recognition. It's about giving back the world some of what you've received. It's about reaching out to the world by being the best in the service of others - even if it means travellingtraveling in a lonely wilderness.

I think answering the call entails growing in our self-awareness and give our best to others in our own ways. To me, writing and communication may be potential ways of answering the call. However, whatever you feel you must do, answering my call means being authentic to your true being and to the world. But it’s my choice.

END