At times, I really don’t know why I write. For all I know, nobody is reading this blog. I am aware of that with every new post I write. However, even if no one is actually reading these thoughts of mine, I still would feel compelled to write. I had an urge to write since I was younger and even if much of what I wrote rests some place I have forgotten or has since been destroyed, that act of writing would have been significant. Even if what I wanted to express remained lost to time, it granted me the opportunity to reach out of myself. Yes, the act of writing has a social element - it gives us the opportunity to reach out to others. Yet, it also gives us the chance to reach out to ourselves.
Indeed, if I had to read what I wrote when I was 12 or 13, I would have rediscovered part of who I was that had been long buried and forgotten. In this sense, the moment our thoughts are committed to writing, they become traces of the past. While this gives a certain magical quality to writing, the words and concepts we express through this medium remain corrupt versions of reality akin to the same words and concepts which are also distortions of reality they attempt in capturing. At the same time, writing and the language that is carried through this means of communication which is one of the means we have of reaching out to the world and beyond ourselves.
But why, you ask, do I write about writing? What does it have to do with the call? Or with the choices I have to take?It does in many ways as circumstances in my life prevent me from pursuing the path I thought I should follow. I won’t go into detail about these choices - at least not at present. However, suffice it to say that health issues have led me to rethink the choices I have made in different times. And here, writing comes into the picture. Mind you, I don’t intend to embark on writing fiction or long non-fiction works - although these can’t be fully excluded. However, I believe that through my writing, I can positively contribute to my field of interests, which include disability issues. Of course, I will continue my writing on this and the other of my blogs. Indeed, the choice to invest in developing my writing should give me greater chance to explore other facets of life that I might have neglected.
I have almost come to a close to what appears will be a four-part series. I hope that this post and the future ending will not be, to you, a disappointing anti-climax. However, I feel it’s important to deal with real life issues when considering my growth in self-awareness, or rather in my understanding of the meaning of life. Ultimately, anyone who has taken the time to meditate and practice will tell you that the ultimate application of all this undertaking should be the real world outside.
The last question that I need to answer is what I learned from all this. How can I grow by taking this step forward into an uncertain future? Does this what facing the call involve? Does this move to dedicate more of my time to writing actually fulfil my authentic being?CContinues...
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